Love > Bread

the world as i see it

2012-01-23T23:27:00.003+08:00

the world as i see it, by Jason Mraz

been asked why i'm not celebrating CNY alot,
i got so annoyed,
you are not me,
how would you understand my definition of happiness?
in time im like free spirit,
but that is against my belief,
as every bit of enjoyment are traded with equal amount of pain,
in order to live with that,
i had stop searching for happiness,
as it's been there all along,
when you are able to enjoy every moment in time,
so i will celebrate CNY when it's convenient for me to do so.

Relax and lounge

2012-01-12T17:15:00.004+08:00

found this instrumental jazz music on youtube,
i stop listening to mainstream now.

usually,
when my blogging count increased,
it mean im bored,
this time,
it's more like "posting something before" going off,
over time i am on quest to kill my boredom,
to feeds it with the excessive need to prove my existence,
one day,
25 alphabets knocked me off that track,
Boredom is the root of all evil - the despairing refusal to be oneself.
rendered me stunned for few days,
I am going to stop shaping myself,
into something else.

p.s. I'm working on my new year resolution.

man in the mirror

2011-12-06T06:28:00.002+08:00

man in the mirror by michael jackson

5:30am,
i woke up,
and study,
and im so excited in front of the notes,
that i wonder if i'm myself.

i really can't bare to fail any subjects anymore,
graduate in 2 more years!

La vie en rose

2011-11-30T01:47:00.003+08:00

La vie en rose by loius armstrong
the type of song to listen at 3am.

when i came college,
i assume people here are - ideas maniac,
eagerly to show their perspective of world to others,
perhaps in a parallel universe but not this reality,
people here are living in the shadow of media,
where:
happiness is weighted by money,
beauty are based on the cover,
truth is what they see and hear.

utopia is just a dream?

nothing

2011-11-28T02:14:00.002+08:00

nothing - the script

i've been improving quite much on futsal,
sometimes i do wonder what im trying to achieve anyway,
but for the mean time i will just enjoy it,
there isn't really a prize needed,
spending times with people like-minded,
that's priceless.

Sunday Morning

2011-11-20T12:37:00.002+08:00

Maroon 5 - Sunday Morning

I recently waking up pretty early,
but still nothing much to do.
christmas will be at tawau this year,
will be a Merry Christmas,
can't wait for.

silence

2011-11-13T12:01:00.000+08:00

the 30 minutes silence at the beginning of the day,
people around start doing their things with the lips ties,
when the sky start lightning up the sky,
sky get bluer,
clouds get whiter,

that helps getting rid of worries the night before.

I'll be Waiting

2011-11-08T11:36:00.003+08:00

I'll be Waiting by Adele - my favorites among Adele's
just months ago a speaker talks that contents wins over packaging in long term,
Adele was the perfect contents - hard work and talents.

I recently found out my heavy reliance on pc,
was when my harddisk finally broken down,
it didn't surprise me,
as it wasn't treated any better than the china factory slaves,
and then come the 3 steps,
first was the ignorance,
i made myself believe that things will be just fine,
that it wasn't really a big part of my normal life,
then the struggle,
i felt just like the monkey who go release from zoo,
not knowing what to do with the freedom,
and the worst - mentally unstable,
i wanted a new pc,
and my mind was telling me i have to get it anyway anyhow.

time to kick this pc addiction out,
in the mean time, bathing in joyous of new pc!

november rain

2011-11-01T22:45:00.002+08:00

Gun N' Roses - November Rain
just, appropriate!

be it the waiting for the school bus alone on the dawn,
the bag been holding tight become the most reliable friend for minutes,
such relief when that yellow box finally came,
along the warm temperature welcomed me to go inside;

or the afternoon sitting on the sofa,
looking out the windows,
on the street as people running from the constant attack of nature,
as if at war;

there is those evening playing while it came unannounced,
though the constant pouring and freezing wind is bothering,
we felt so much alive,
but then sunset was always annoying,
leaving us to the darkness,
but we hold tight the remaining glimpse of light,
trying to catch as much joy as we could.

when 'it' came today,
my sight was caught by its natural magnificent,
the splashes when the drops hit on the floor,
so pretty it looks and so sweet it sounds,
but my mind was haunted by the beautiful memories,
to think of it's been always come-and-go through time,
I smiles - on the rain.

someone like you..

2011-10-19T21:50:00.004+08:00

someone like you by adele.
great music can be this simple,
with only a great voice and a piano.

i have an facebook account,
but recently,
it's becoming harder to post status on it,
before updating a status,
i ask,
what would ppl think?
yes, knowing there is around 600 'friend' that i barely knew gonna read what i post, is just so much unacceptable for me.
i would instead post something unrelated,
and turn to my blog,
this place where people barely visit,
unless...
they actually care,
but who would?
i wonder.

i want a purpose,
not the one that keep me going for the next day,
and not for the next month,
also not for the next year,
i wish i can start packing now,
and start my journey for the next 10 good years,
live every day knowing that i made the right choice,
but i'm a patethic joke,
all say but no action.

Taken oustide st. paul church, Melaka.
What was he thinking?

At last

2011-10-06T01:05:00.004+08:00

this Josh Krajcik at x factor sang 1 of the best version of 'At last by Etta James'

i recently had frustrating days,
the futsal challenge that I coordinated - messed up,
blame -
the dude that don't listen,
the dude that is hard to reason with,
the organizer with such idea of forcing such weird regulation.

so i find way to balance out the stress - shout and jump,
on 2 separate occassion event in the uni,
but i didn't like what i saw,
too much of people going so low for the things they desire,
linked to strings, never realize that they are manipulated by the invisible hand.

pumped up kicks

2011-10-01T23:55:00.003+08:00

Foster the People - Pumped up Kicks
human are just really weird, most of the time.

i wasn't thinking too deeply lately,
just staying low and be relaxed.
one thing haunted me is the movie "two-legged horse",
moral of the movie is that -
civilization are not going to the direction that it should,
too much people slaving others for their own enjoyment,
and when that happen, they end up being no different with animals,
remind me of the professor in "the sunset limited" who killed himself for being hopeless with the current human state,
so sad and pathetic.

Have you ever seen the rain?

2011-09-17T16:09:00.003+08:00

Rod Stewart - Have you ever seen the rain
certaintly do these days.

what i do when it's hot?
i stay still and enjoy it,
it doesn't feel that hot after that.

i recently lost badly at a futsal tournament,
and found out how easy i accepted the fact,
need. to. get. back. the. winning. spirit.

Don't Stop

2011-09-11T15:28:00.003+08:00

ATB - Don't Stop
I believe the song refers to the addiction, any type.

there is a making-sense explaination for my procrastination and unwillingness to work on something with serious effort:
the procrastination come from years of experiences on performing task under pressure, elder folks who constantly expecting the best out of me, problems came when they let me off the hook, not that i don't try hard anymore, but i know exactly how much effort i needed to put to make things work. The later part is simply because i don't want to be in the league of nerd as defined by mainstream, i found out it's easier to get acceptance from most people when i putting in the same effort as they are.
which come to the main point of this topic,
why do i have to explain my action?
is it a self-reflecting, or have i surpasses the talking to myself level, perhaps just out of boredom?
which in the end lead me to the conclusion that,
thing is just a thing the way it is.

p.s. frustrated with my injured leg, it stop me from playing futsal. My complain only lasted a sentence! such an improvement.

Who's That Chick

2011-08-31T00:58:00.002+08:00

Rihanna ft. David Guetta - Who's That Chick
club song is definitely giving a boost on my mood on a lone night.

should go sleep but what would if i woke up too early?
should stay online but everything is getting kinda repetative..
closing eyes with my foot hitting the floor, try hard to follow the beat, but the real enjoyment is when set the body go free and just go crazy with rythm.

if it wasn't for a night where i'm stucking on this mild dilemma,
wouldn't be writing here,
this is only the third post of the month,
is August a writer's block?

青花瓷

2011-08-27T16:55:00.002+08:00

青花瓷 - Jay Chou
Feeling classsy.

I talk with myself,
a lot.

I play futsal crazily,
too much.

I am lonely,
all the time.

That's just what semester break mean.

If i die young

2011-08-22T21:07:00.003+08:00

If I Die Young - The Band Perry
This band have exactly the type of song I like,
tho this song is pretty amazing, but the lyrics is quite WEAK and negative.the 10k

tuition fees for this semester is seriously - frustrating.
but on the positive side it would be a good reason to not failing on the subjects.

the time table that literally squeezing classes together with 4 days of 8am class is unbelievably - surreal.
don't really see the point of 8am class, but well it's quite cool to finish class early and have the rest of the day free.

Take over

2011-07-28T14:47:00.003+08:00

Mizz Nina feat. Flo Rida - Takeover
wonderful malaysian singer!

Exam just over,
so does this semester.
to sum it up:

It was labour day,
unwrapping the new semester,
frisbees throws and gets,
welcoming the confusing freshmeat.

It was study break,
when finals marching in,
facebook statuses is suddenly,
playing symphony of stress.

An evening after an adrenaline pump, I felt great.

Rain drops hitting on the windows at the middle of the night, woke me up.

silent

2011-07-25T01:55:00.003+08:00

if there is music right now,
it will be the sounds of keyboard stroking and mouse clicking.

the last day before final exam,
it could be rock climbing,
or it could be sleeping whole day,
or it could be both.

and right now at the middle of the night,
i'm stuck here without direction,
but then there is this excessive confidences,
telling me that I will pass the subject.

Kiss Goodbye

2011-07-21T18:09:00.002+08:00

Wang Lee Hom - Kiss Goodbye

done with new blog design,
it looks much simple now!

Goodbye, old template.

Hi, exam.

礼物

2011-07-17T23:04:00.003+08:00

礼物 - 刘力扬
I wish to find someone that I can send a present ever again.

just got back from Chilling Waterfall.
walking through the jungle of tropical forest,
remind me of child hood memories.

I could remember the feeling of my foot pressing on the soft dirt.

the smell of the river.

and the rough feeling of the wood.

those childhood memories remind me that,
I'm too much of a nature man.

Emotions

2011-07-13T22:10:00.004+08:00

Emotions - Bee Gees version.
their voice, so classic.

was there to try figure out what fashion mean,
I have no background on history of fashion,
or any knowledge on how the different fabrics gives different feeling,
I was like a kid who think lego is cool,
but don't even know how to play it,
it really not my place.

I Don't Have The Heart

2011-07-13T13:15:00.004+08:00

I don't have the heart - James Ingram
very decent song.

Was at Berkelah Waterfall last sunday.
I could have choose the more symbolic waterfall picture,
but this image feels of warm and peaceful.

I have not much achievement,
but some days things just work out fine,
when the chocolates taste better than usual,
when the room are more windy than usual,
when the pictures I took feel just so right than usual,
right at those moments,
I feel good.

I wonder if I feel lonely because I live in my own world,
or that it's because in my own world,
I'm the only one who is living.

viva la vida

2011-07-04T03:51:00.002+08:00

coldplay - viva la vida

what happened when I'm addicted to statistics is that,
I keep on writing down reports that you didn't realize it's pass 3am.

think I'm quite-definitely a write the damn report type of person.

can't believe the holiday "finally" over,
I like doing nothing,
but seriously when you do nothing for few days,
sleep until you get headache, woke up feeling really dizzy,
get really bored and then lonely and after that frustrated,
and missing home briefly and start crying at middle of the night,
then eating random pills, vommitting blood, and start murdering!!

I think that was just a scenes from my dream,
yea the point is that you lost touch of real world and dream world!

Hahppy School Reopening for me!

True Colours

2011-06-30T02:27:00.002+08:00

True Colours, the one by "Celtic Woman"

my mind is always like a football field,
where it's messed up with so many ppl running around,
then I will be reading a little bit,
and it will be as peace as if it's at beach.

Just the way you are.

2011-06-23T11:00:00.004+08:00

Not the 1 by Bruno Mars,
but the Billy Joel version.

Oh mosquitoes..
if you have to bite me..
why don't you just ask?

Oh morning..
if you have to wake me up..
why are you making me feel so miserable?

I love my room, because I see things through my windows.

Sometimes I feel gay, jk!

p.s. I guess from now on, my title will be the song I'm listening when I'm writing the post!

Sunny days and Saturdays

2011-06-18T16:38:00.003+08:00

title refers to the song by "The Carpenters" - Rainy Days and Mondays
it's a lovely Sunny Saturday while wind are blowing gently.

off for my first ever futsal competition,
as part of the organising team and, as a player,
wish myself the best luck.

take it slow..

2011-06-17T00:44:00.003+08:00

writing new post is always exciting,
especially to write up something here when my life is just pretty much - dull.

life have been easy with me,
I got up early and went bed around 1,
which is really, thanks to my timetable.

I've been reading the "300 famous chinese poems",
and another about "art of war",
it kind of like decoding something, so yea I been enjoying reading them.

again,
my progress on futsal reach a pretty dead end again,
but history have been that it's always time like this,
that I will make a big breakthrough,
I hope this time the same happen.

I'm thinking,
maybe it's really all just about balance,
little bit of hard work on school,
little bit of interest in other category of reading materials,
little bit of sports which involved shoes with rolls and chasing a ball on concrete floor.

too lazy

2011-06-08T21:53:00.002+08:00

somedays,
I woke up feels great,
but turn depressed in a blink,
and it give me the urge to clean mt house,
and rearrange the furniture,
but I'm pathetically,
too lazy to give a damn.

what i write when i'm dizzy

2011-06-05T18:06:00.002+08:00

it been more than a week without writing,
but it's only like few days off.
probably coz too much of not interesting shit going on,
plus the flu I got at friday which kinda ruined my weekend,
having to sleep 16 hours per day..
certaintly not a good feeling,
but good thing come, at last;
just as the evening come,
I got myself some chocolates and pepsi,
suddenly the sky looks like..
(well I can't really imagine any cute stuff from the clouds)
the lights reflecting on it looks just warm,
(make me staring blank coz of overexposure)
still it's a evening of self satisfaction.

long live the game

2011-05-28T22:03:00.002+08:00

I could play for fun,
but I choose to take it as a learning process,
to do my best, consistently,
and in the mean time having the joy I want,
winning will be a motivation,
but losing is unacceptable.
- on futsal game

off for Champions League Final.
both team deserved equal respects,
for reaching such top level,
on a sports that played by 150 million people regularly,
hoping that both them pull out their best,
and may the better team win the title.

learning process

2011-05-26T01:45:00.002+08:00

errr..
new semester,
same messed up house,
same messed up sleeping time,
I should really do something about that,
but instead,
I will be procrastinating and do thing such as,
complaining on blog.

nothing new but yea I just turned 21 few days ago,
just some whiskey, karaoke and sisha.

sometimes I wanna kick my self when I'm too serious that I killed joy;
to try taking every thing as a positive sign is not easy;
and to try to accept everyone opinion is even harder;
and respect people and giving chances to them even when I hate them so much,
is even super duper harder;
but all said and done, I still have to do it.
I guess, that's part of learning process.

outcome-phobia

2011-05-21T04:55:00.003+08:00

I love you, mom.
Happy mother's day.

procrastinate.
outcome-phobia.
suckers selfish ruined joys of other.
I can't tell too much.

anyway,
I'm staying really late just to listen club hitz.
plus it's really lots fun chatting in hometown dialect with that friend.

can't sleep!

2011-05-11T01:07:00.005+08:00

my working days went on pretty badly,
2nd day I sneak out almost the whole day,
probably the first time I be such irresponsible,
but I had so much fun being "sneaky", ohh so wrong :(
I tried to fall asleep tonight, but I just can't!
long gone the day when you can just play/exercise till you get so tired,
I almost run for at least full 2 hours back and forth basketball court,
or should I blame my habit of sleeping late..
anyway, my birthday is just few days away,
just when I thought I would be emo to think of celebrating it alone,
I didn't! My heart smile for a bit and say, hey that's pretty cool.
let me welcome a birthday of peace and serenity =)
cheers, myself.

p.s. my camera is heading to bangkok.. leaving me alone.

nothing

2011-05-04T23:39:00.003+08:00

it's semester break.
what. to do.
only 2 working day.
and.
futsal daily?
seriously I will laugh if I'm at 3rd person view.

p.s. I don't shop frequently, but when I shop, I. Hardly. Stop. Before. Get. Broke.

exam week again

2011-05-03T18:08:00.003+08:00

my semester just ended,
and this is gonna be my last semester as an IT student,
I leave myself with 2 option,
change course or quit study,
there have been a lot of opinion,
but I will only live my life the way I want it.

p.s. seriously guys? exam is killing you? really?

progress

2011-04-27T05:02:00.002+08:00

back from watching football match,
it's something that I been eagerly waiting to watch these days,
just like the high school between-class football match I used to be excited about,

complain

2011-04-22T16:37:00.002+08:00

seriously if I have to really write something,
it will be all complain complain complain,
my banned hotmail, the weather, friends, housemate,
I could even change my relationship status on facebook to
"in a relationship with complain",
So I get myself a book on how to stop complaining,
anyway, what I think is that,
self-help book is really not that much of self-help,
it's more like buying mango at the market,
you really don't know below the shiny yellow skin,
whether it's filled with crawling worm.

p.s. the frequent thunderstorms near school is really freaky!

Football

2011-04-18T02:15:00.001+08:00

it's sunday,
and for me and for now,
it mean FOOTBALL time!
Futsal to play at evening,
and Football match to watch at night,
it's healthy, and it's exciting!
but it's one of the thing which keep me staying up late,
and when the day almost over,
it's the time I sat in front of pc,
sighing for my under-achieved on study.

p.s. oh yea I actually start reading books that I bought from book fair.

Futsal friendly match

2011-04-15T03:40:00.002+08:00

it was really a great feeling to see teams competing againt each other,
in this case the feeling come during our futsal friendly match,
I wasn't playing,
but I smell the excitement,
and after the game,
an adrenaline to improve.

p.s. this week, i'm more of sleep to live and eat to live people.

once it start rolling

2011-04-13T16:03:00.002+08:00

the first problem arise as soon as the club start rolling,
conflict between who should go to the most important tournament between colleges,
the different between INTI-IU Futsal Club and INTI-IU Futsal Team,
and the lack of confident on some members on me,
people wonder why am I putting myself in so much trouble to build a system,
I just want to do something that could benefit others.

p.s. haven't play futsal for 2 days, partly because of rain, damn I start missing it.

INTI-IU Futsal Club

2011-04-10T00:30:00.003+08:00

some friends, and me, has revived the futsal club at INTI-IU;
this is really an excitement feeling,
I already have so much idea in mind,
to run something which I love so much,
I believe,
this is gonna be another wonderful chapter in my life,

LET'S LAUNCH!!

p.s. another week without rock climbing, and why is it so hard to get ppl to join water festival? people should really learn to be spontaneous.

wandering man

2011-04-01T11:18:00.002+08:00

spent a lot of my time at university walking between blocks,
and also wasted a lot of opportunity hoping between dreams,
this doesn't seems to make my life any better,
so am stop wandering too much, and just chill.

p.s. a weekend trip at pahang, gonna make the hours worth =)

overhaul? maybe just a little bit

2011-03-26T23:57:00.003+08:00

thinking of recreating the whole feeling of this blog.
I wonder if anyone read,
actually part of me wanted ppl to care of this blog,
but another part of is afraid of letting ppl know too much of me.

anyway I played futsal for straight 6 days,
I asked my friend if I'm crazy,
but he response with at least you are not fucked up.

oh ya about fucked up,
ever since I moved to apartment,
I'm seeing more and more "fucked up" ppl,
as in normal term, it mean ppl who lost their way.
I was a pretty damn good typical example,
but for sure, I'm getting out of it already.

p.s. 1 more day left of this weekends, damn they sure past really fast.

I WANT TO GO ROCK CLIMBING

2011-03-22T16:28:00.002+08:00

it's raining a lot at nilai here,
friday, saturday, sunday, monday..
sometimes I like to think that I'm too caring,
that I browsed through facebook too frequently.

in the mean time,
I'm also deeply considering on,
going for the one academy,
part of me love the campus life at INTI,
but part of me want to be a multimedia nerd at TOA.

p.s. I really need a weekend free of anything else but only rock climbing!

Balloons shooting at putrajaya

2011-03-19T15:41:00.008+08:00

BIG BALLOONS!!

I played too much futsal these days that I wonder..
maybe I'm on addiction!
good that I have swimming and skate lesson to divert.
the random sleeping time still going on..
and it's a repetation of last week!
I got drunk yesterday night and woke up 6am!

I always wanted to go for a orchestra concert,
and I kinda did it yesterday - ICB Musical Night.
I can't play instrument but i feels really good
to be able to dive deep with the music,
just how easy music can turn my mood around.

p.s. I can feel that my stamina is back, or even better :o

I want to sleep...

2011-03-14T04:31:00.003+08:00

just how late it is now,
and I'm still on.
saturday night slept for 3 hours woke up at 5pm..
just been a really random sleeping week,
which I was also been really slacking a lot on school stuff.

can't seems to stop logging in facebook,
yes I think for now I'm really spending too much time on it,
just refreshing and going through ppl updates..
which I know is vaguely unhealthy.

But that's just how socializing is evolving[or evolved],
and that communicating face to face thing,
just because we was taught that way,
and that human civilization have been in that way,
doesn't mean we can't change..

really like to watch comedy series this days,
30 rocks, friends, big bang theory, how i met your mom
and I'm kinda annoyed by the random ads spammer on my chatbox too..

Life is great after all =)

2011-03-03T20:30:00.002+08:00

had conversation with a friend,
about catching goal, being moderate-positive, and live life,
I think I'm really lost after the last semester break,
looking back, I laughed at how silly I was,
just how numb I was with my unstable emotion at january,
and how silly I was to be such a 'negative' person,
for now, it's really time to be happy and live life the positive way,
but first, I'm gonna get a goal.
clearing all the subject this semester,
hmm ok :)

rock climbing

2011-02-27T02:18:00.002+08:00

went for rock climbing,
muscle sore and can't even open a car door;
but on the other hand;
I actually likes rock climbing,
and so do a lot of extreme sport,
but what's been pulling me off from them,
all these times I'm trying to be someone else,
only to realize I just want to be who I was before.

talking to myself

2011-02-25T17:17:00.003+08:00

sometimes, thing are ought to change,
that's just how life is,
and there is nothing you can do about;
lingering on the past will not make things better,
unless you decided to move on,
or else you will be like waiting for the rain on a dessert,
not that it won't rain,
just that there is chances you might die of the heat waiting for the rain.

Hopefully la..

2011-02-23T23:03:00.003+08:00

sure we can be just friends,
not like the world gonna end,
it was a wrong turn,
i stupidly, stubbornly looking for a way out,
in the end it's an ugly dead end,
just friends,
would be much more fun,
I HOPE

Mind talking

2011-02-22T18:08:00.003+08:00

In class and constantly day dreaming once every 5 minutes.
I got problem to focus on same thing for long time.
I have to move around.

Facebooking in class, I feels like stealing a snacks at 7/11.
It's hard to make a balance between showing respect and being carefree.

19 credit hours seems a bit too heavy now.
being in a big club committee is putting on more weight on it.
not that im complaining, just to figure out the situation right now,
I can solve this.

Start watching HIMYM again..

2011-02-20T02:44:00.002+08:00

Enrique iglesias played Gael at one of HIMYMs.
Strikes me when he said :"life is my career"
isn't that so right?

I started writing down to-do-list on random paper,
and it actually work pretty well,
way to go, 5 subjects to pass this semester.

Last week at the same time,
I could'nt bare to think of it might be the last time,
but today we were there, playing basketball with your friends,
just sitting there looking at the moon and feels the breezing wind,
just little chat, but I feel really comfortable,
fallen asleep while you were chatting with your friends,
when I opened my eyes and you are the 1 saw, feels so real yet so fantastic.

Bumped

2011-02-18T01:11:00.001+08:00

bumped into you in an unexpected way make me feels,
awkward,
but,
that make up my day.

back on track.

2011-02-17T01:19:00.001+08:00

Getting life back on track,
I gotta find back the discipline for myself,
I gotta focus on what I'm doing right now,
and stop worrying about too much nonsense.

me. lately.

2011-02-11T13:34:00.006+08:00

me. been. awkwardly weird. these. days.

before the CNY,
I was surrounded by cloud of depression,
one time in a programming class,
I spend 2 hours only thinking on quitting school.

Got me really thinking, why am I here in the first time?
Certainly I was hoping University is a place
where I finally be able to "learn what I want to learn",
but turn out the school are giving us too much of bullshit.

things get better at CNY,
its always feel positive to be at home,
to actually have a friend who hang out with me all days,
and to actually see the big big cloud on the blue blue sky.

but being at school feels really sux,
I put up a fake smile on almost everything,
what's wrong with me?
some times feel like a yatch with a broken compass cruising on the sea.

I need some one to talk with..

Commitment > Bread

2011-01-22T14:05:00.008+08:00

Why I only want to eat lunch at middle shop,
despite friends decided to eat somewhere else,
i stubbornly went alone for lunch.
when I was 13, and everyone moved to new house,
they only made me moved after they forcefully emptied my room.
honestly middle shop food doesn't taste good, and frankly old house is just too old.
but;
I love middle shop, and I loved my old house.
Maybe deep inside, I feel safer to be there.

Give me 10 ringgit and a pair of shoes,
the next day I will be at neighbour city;
Give me 100 ringgit and a bicycle,
the next week I will be at the neighbour state;
Give me 1000 ringgit and a car,
i will sell the car and buy a house;
No i won't go to neighbour country,
because I love Malaysia.
I was given chance to go Canada,
but I stay,
Maybe deep inside, it's the patriotism.

Seriously, what's wrong with this long post?
I hate people who are not able to hold commitment.

CNY is so closed already!!

2011-01-20T13:57:00.002+08:00

Aiyo.. long time didn't update my blog.
Didn't think 2 weeks passed in just that blink.

Although I said I would be back in just 3 weeks time,
but friend make it like I'm leaving for good,
sister and mom make me feels like I'm going somewhere very far,
but deep down, I like those attention,
but part of me resist it too, lol.

First week of school, I didn't went.
Instead, I went to KL for shopping.
the feeling of wearring new clothes,
is like having a really good cup of coffee.

b-2-01 got really nice sofa set now,
frankly the only thing i think when i saw those sofa set is to have a really good nap.

Happy new year 2011

2011-01-03T11:54:00.002+08:00

Home feels lesser like home now,
apparently mom got quarrel with her brother earlier,
so uncle said he wont step in our home anymore.
I sure will miss the times sitting there drinking coffee with him early morning,
and looking at the rain quitely during rainy day.
Mom got remarried,
I don't really know why,
but sure I blessed her.

It's a new year now,
2011 feels really exciting,
I'm hoping for a peaceful year ahead,
for my family and friends.

New Year SOON!!

2010-12-28T16:12:00.002+08:00

Currently at cybercafe for this short post,
thing about Tawau is that it's boring,
and although this year Xmas wasn't any boombastik,
but to be staying at a familiar place;
seeing familiar faces all around;
is still a wonderful feeling,
this year, is a merry christmas.

Xmas is soo closed already!!

2010-12-22T23:37:00.011+08:00

My stay at KK only lasted 3 days.
And this is 2 years after the last time I visited.
Feels really the same, though some friends wasn't,
lucky for me those who really matters still around.

Pathetically waited at Starbucks since 12am for 7am flight - -

Pretty

Cold

I got this Reader Digest with me, I read it all through and there 4 hours lapsed.

First and second day at KK was more of fooling around at Leslie house..
just great to be there even just doing some lame stuff - dota/manga/maple-watching
Spend a lot of time with Leong Family - Leslie, Ginny and Kelvin
I wouldn't really come KK if not because of them, was always great to hang out with Leslie, he always crack joke that just make me possible to actually complement with my lame joke.
Ginny is slightly older sister of Leslie and Kelvin and really great to chat with, she got really good sense of humour, but in the other hand held some great philosophy that can actually affect me to be the follower.
Kelvin is older than Leslie and of coz the same fun guy, wonder what their parent feed them that they turn out so awesome.

I happen to celebrated the "tong zi" in an heart warming way.
I went to find Yvonne which is my ex-colleague,
such a lovely lunch with her family,
and she was really nice, feels like a sister really much,
She also made me a cute cookie boy =)

Then I rushed up to meet up with Leslie and Ginny

We actually ordered a kenny rogers half-chicken and a bottle water, only!

This is the cookie by Yvonne.. Ginny kind of messed its leg and then it got worst when my pocket was under attack = =
I know Yvonne would understand that =) coz well, a sister would be mad but after that would join us to laugh our asses off.

Kenny Rogers - 22/12/2010

Okuribito

2010-12-15T15:16:00.004+08:00

The new music I added on my playlist is actually from a japanese movie - Departures.
Departures itself is a really emotionally touching with rich details on various Japanese culture.

And as for the music, it's composed by Joe Hasashi, which also work on some of 宮崎駿 animation. Music itself is various for each personn, but in this case, it work like a time machine, brought me back to my childhood, as in the title of the song - Okuribito(Memory)

Good week behind, Great week ahead!

2010-12-12T22:33:00.004+08:00

Oh god, been sleeping too much this week,
but at least the the weekend was great =)
went for a movie - "Due Date",
first try on Nando's which I love the chili sauce real much.
think I can rate this week as 7/10

Finally Cleaned my super duper messy room..
room before

trust me, I slept here.

room after

now this really looks a lot better =)

The routine was still ongoing which is pretty good,
only haven't find good mood to sketch randomly.

Things that is approaching due date ain't so smooth,
I'm so far behind for the adventure club promo video,
doesn't have any good timing or maybe;
I'm just lazy for library for art appreciation revision.

The kitten

2010-12-09T11:16:00.002+08:00

This kitten came to my place few days ago..
I came back from breakfast early sunday morning,
and it was trying to jump in my apartment,
So, I fed it some milk and it stayed there till the next day,
And again, I fed it with milk and some fish,
I try to let it go afterward and till now it haven't come back again,
think he left forever, now I am alone again.

Other thing went not so well, I've been sleeping too much, figure out this isn't that good, got to fix this, hope working this weekend will help.

session 1

2010-12-04T02:52:00.006+08:00

so i've been trying to live up with my plan for the past few days,
well althought there was a lot a lot of sleeping(best was 14 hrs),
i managed to at least did little bit of everything

0.0. *room cleaning* - Done
0.1. *Sketching Masterclass Reading* - Finished 2D sketching
1.1. *blog overhaul* - Decided not to do anything for the blog as I actually like this 1 very much.

2. *adventure club introductary video(due 20/12/2010)* - 0% < still, party coz haven't receive complete information from committees.
3. *art 105 revise(due 17/12/2010)* - 0% < still, it's hard to go library when i woke up 3/4pm lol.

4. *sketching 101* - 5 hrs < done with 2D sketching practise, moving to 3D
5. *stamina rebuild 101* - 1 hrs < bad weather.. only manage to get 1 jogging session, will try swimming too but it only open at tue,thurs,sat and still have to depends on weather..
6. *fitness exercise 101* - 3 sets of each (pectorial, abdomen and biceps)

so it goes pretty well :)
finally I got to watch a movie I been wanting to:
ip man: really nice action movie
fears of all sum: thrilling and interesting nuclear-harm message
despicable me: funny and heart-warming

some shots I took:

The best is always go for natural light =)

this is the book where I learn my sketching, pretty good step-by-step for new beginner

let revive that word - DISCIPLINE

2010-11-30T16:16:00.012+08:00

I should give my self a promise,
And rebuild that long lost discipline,
Let's start this holiday with some to-do-list.
Basically I break it down into 3 category,
red as urgently needed to be done,
green as finished before due date,
orange as daily.

0.0. *room cleaning* - not done
0.1. *Sketching Masterclass Reading* - 30%
1.1. *blog banner* - 0%
1.2. *blog background* - 0%
1.3. *blog layout* - 0%

2. *adventure club introductary video(due 20/12/2010)* - 0%
3. *art 105 revise(due 17/12/2010)* - 0%

Quantity as in Hour.
4. *sketching 101* - 0 hrs
5. *stamina rebuild 101* - 0 hrs
6. *weight exercise 101* - 0 hrs

I put it online so I can keep track on what I been doing, and as a bet with my inner self, that's it if I failed this, my evil part of myself will be laughing on me.

This have to happen, EVERYTIME!!

2010-11-29T17:57:00.003+08:00

Today officially mark the first day of holiday.

People been asking me a lot of "WHY?" on not going back home.
I'm tired of replying all those question,
I wanted to ask them
why going back home that ain't home?
but guess they wont even know how would that feel like.
Want to know the truth?
I can smile happily and say I have a broken family, but who would believe that? People actually believe when I said I want to stay here coz I can get online everyday.
Seriously? Who does that during holiday?
I did it for like 4 out of the past 5 semester break. And honestly?
IT SUCKS TO THE MAX.
The first semester break was like "sleeping till 2pm and swimming and basketball", ALMOST everyday. That's two weeks.
Second semester break working from the beginning till the end of it. Pretty easy life, course all I did is to do the same thing for 2 weeks.
Third semester break, working again, even at the christmas day!
Fourth semester break, I tried to do thing differently, or simply say just wanna make the semester break pathetic, spent whole 2 weeks sitting in front of the computer screen playing meaningless game.

No matter how much unwilling, bought the flight ticket - 20th December.
I will have to do something different this time.
Rock and roll maybe, ecstasy maybe, addiction maybe, healthy maybe, boring maybe.

After Exam

2010-11-27T01:46:00.006+08:00

The exam week ended, relaxingly, so relax that I missed 1 paper. Luckily I still pass it because of my courswork mark.

X, as in Xeel.
Circle of confusion, it's not hard to make, but to make a good one, best is to get a background with lot type of light. Best scenario is to have all the 3 primary color to make it seen colorful.

The no.1 cartoon fan lol

We had Jogoya for RM46 each person, was RM78 but we got discount from credit card.

Me with "Sim", also an amateur photographer. Last photo shooting session we did was taking engagement picture for Jess at Muar. Looking forward for another assignment =)

This is the next day, we went down for some sate at Kajang.

It was really simple and relaxing after exam celebration. For the rest of the holiday, I will be doing a lot of sketching, some part time job, and some wandering around. Looking forward to go Muar again, as I wish to meet that "someone" again.

oh, well.

2010-11-23T20:49:00.004+08:00

The final exam started great, I did good on the first paper.
But then it turn a litte quite pathetic.
I woke up late on the second paper and missed it, that wasn't too clever,
For now, what I know is that I had around 50% on coursework,
but it might be 48 or 49..
which mena I'm still gonna fail it.
I had my chance to get A, but for now,
all I want is to have it passed,
just be it if they would only take 50% of my mark,
but that's in the case if they allowed me to take a resit.
And if I failed on this subject for this stupid reason,
I still won't feel bad, because that wouldn't be all my fault,
that's just proven even further how much this education system failed.

EXAM WEEK

2010-11-22T05:37:00.003+08:00

Exam is in next few hours,
some how I couldn't sleep well and woke up after only 4 hours.
So now I'm energetic but.. bore..
why am I always bore? perhaps I'm too lazy to do something that aren't bore?
I don't know how well will I do on this paper,
I covered everything for to get a pass on it.
Now I feel like writing more,
taking more photos,
more photoshop editing,
more sketching,
and more reading.

I should keep walking, and stop looking back, at least for sometimes.

I see, I hear, They commit

2010-11-18T06:30:00.003+08:00

Commitment should be something sacred.
I got to know that,
My mom is going to get marry, again..
This time around, I have no hard feeling.
Been witnessed different wedding at different age,
I see how people committed their promised,
And I see different kind of blessing;
Some wholeheart, some with bit of jealousy.

Last engagement I went;
I see true friendship - whose willing to sacrifice time and energy.
I see family bond - so tight that the density of love is like black hole, sucking everything near into it, and make affection.
I see commitment made - which I hope could last forever.

I don't think I will ever dare to make a commitment.

True Smile..

2010-11-15T21:25:00.007+08:00

I spend sometimes to make her smiles, worth the attempt :)

Just wish we can feel the same way on the joy the get from balloon

I kick bad guy asses!

Think they got no wing? Well they actually got!
*picture taken at Muar during an photography assignment*

I think i do love kids..
Easiest individual to mix with.
They annoyed you, and make u tired,
but could just easily forgive them once they show those smiles..
Best part is they won't betray you!

Picture Analysis 1

2010-11-12T15:37:00.005+08:00

original

photoshopped

At first I don't know why I liked this picture.
Then I went and play around with the color on photoshop.
Which then make sense.
This owe to the "art appreciation" class I took this semester.
As I'm comparing, I realize. It's sharp because of the different layer of green color.
1. The dark green pillars stand as foreground.
2. Me as the midground.
3. Light green wall on my back as the background.
It's a beautiful coincidence. But green itself isn't really represent a good mood. And in this case, I would say it represent youth.

Amazing how we are born naturally attracted by color but never realize how it affect us.

Pointless, it seems.

2010-11-04T15:43:00.003+08:00

Those old people always taught me to be honest,
only now I realize,
I am such dishonest person,
hiding is an act of dishonesty too, it seems.

A friend once said:
"Everyone heart is locked,
and I like to be the key master,
to craft keys,
open up each of their lock,
and release all those heart."

I wish I could be him;
going into people life with all the keys;
left a smile;
and just leave,
but sadly no.

if life is like a box of chocolate,
it's tasty only because you know it is;
but,
people will never know,
if you never tear off the cover and share it with others.

Not that pointless, if you realize.

IT - Cloud Computing

2010-10-22T20:21:00.006+08:00

I won't be talking about advanced Cloud Computing as in those used by big corporation. Instead this is about what you can relate with :p
Cloud = Internet
Cloud Computing = Using Internet for your computing need!

This video shows few examples of Operating System which used Cloud Computing technology.

It's cool because:
Be able to have everything stores on internet, won't have to worry of losing them anymore or run out of memory.

It's ain't cool because:
You won't be able to do Cloud Computing if your Internet Connection is dead.

p/s welcome to correct any of my mistakes XD

okay

2010-10-20T06:57:00.003+08:00

took me sometimes to fall sleep, but i pyscho-ed myself into.
woke up quite early and I went for a little bit walk.
it's surprisingly quite and breezy.
never thought that I would fall for you,
I been believing that love is something silly and waste of time and energy.
But I saw myself falling addictively,
in the end it was ground that I hit.
What can I do?
Just rofl on myself, check the wound, and keep moving.
I might find another fall, but maybe next time, I will be careful not to hurt.
hmmm.. I should be glad that we are still close friend.

I wanna tell you something..

2010-10-18T22:25:00.002+08:00

IT - TV+Google?

2010-10-13T21:18:00.010+08:00

If you guys are staying at IIU(INTI International University) Hostel, you might find out something really annoying, just right after you step inside your room. It seems, that once you have a desktop installed, you are left with not much space left, so what if you want to add a television set? Sorry, not possible.

But now, you will have both tv and desktop and plenty of empty space left!
Let me introduce - the Sony GoogleTV!

What can it do?
1. Post messages on Twitter.
2. Stream movies from Netflix and read the news.
3. A Google search engine which enable user to find show times or programs stored on a digital video recorder, along with other kinds of information.

And the necessary software is preinstalled so for computer newbie, you just need to get an Internet cable or Wi-Fi and there you go, TV with Computer function(just some of it actually)
Wow then what are we waiting for? We should get it now!
Ya right, there is some pain here.

apparently, this GoogleTV installed in Sony HDTV cost:
24 inch - 600 dollar / RM1860
40 inch - 1000 dollar / RM3100

Aw.. that's really a pain for the wallet.

(This is pure educational purpose, I don't get any commission for writing this, seriously)

IT - Android is better then iphone?

2010-10-11T18:11:00.009+08:00

We talking about the competition between the two best OS on Phone now, if you doesn't know what's that, click:

ControversyAndroid

Tasty Apple

Let's see, iPhone have been having the halo-of-best-phone for few years since their successful innovation of iPhone 2g.

But, there isn't much changes on it new version - 3g/3gs/4g.

And now, Android is getting better and better.

Who knows, maybe sooner then we thought, Android could out best the apple's iphone

of you

2010-10-11T00:02:00.004+08:00

this song cries what my heart want to says to you...

btw deleted previous post as I'm going to use this site to serve as blog for my IT assignment. Made some editing on the title too, it was Love > Bread before.